Here is a brief summary of what my family has been going through for the last year and a half: In January (2023) my husband was arrested, God was the lifter of my head (Psalm 3:3-5). In March my grandfather passed away, God was my comfort (Matt 5:4). A week later my mother-in-law passed away and God was my peace (John 14:27). At this point my kids asked how much more we were going to have to take and I didn’t have an answer for them. In May I lost my job, in June I started a new job and God was my provider (Phil 4:19). In August my husband’s grandfather passed away and God was faithful (Lam 3:22-23). It was a lot to process in just a few months. I felt completely overwhelmed, deeply hurt, numb, shattered, broken.
How can being broken make us whole?
It’s hard to think about being broken making us whole. What do I mean by that? At one point, I was starting to feel like Job. Like everything was being taken away. If you don’t know who Job is he has a whole book in the Bible. He lost his home, his business, his livestock, even his kids. Satan was testing him, convinced he was only faithful to God because God had blessed him. Satan even attacked Job’s health. Job’s friends and his wife told him to curse God and die. Job had his moments of self pity (one of my biggest struggles), he questioned God, and he had some heated arguments with his friends but he refused to curse God. He knew no matter how bad and how hard things got, God was in control, even though he didn’t understand what was happening to him. Satan was defeated in his attempt to pull Job away from God. In the end (Ch 38) God had a “come to Jesus meeting” with Job. God asked Job if he was there when the foundations of the earth were laid or the seas were set within their boundaries or if Job ever ordered the morning to shine. It almost seems like God is being snarky with Job but He’s not, He’s reminding Job that God is in control of everything. He’s also reminding Job how small he is in the grand scheme of things and how big God is and that God still cares about him. God is trying to get Job to focus not on why he’s suffering but on how he’s suffering. Is he being respectful? Is he learning and growing? Job doesn’t get answers to his questions about why he’s suffering but he’s comforted by God’s presence just because God showed up. Job’s suffering drew him closer to God. Just like our suffering has the potential to draw us closer to God if we let it. The closer to God we get the more whole we become. It often takes struggling or being broken to get our attention and help us draw closer to God, making us more whole.
A visual of brokenness
A few months into this journey of brokenness God laid on my heart the idea to make this vase. It’s broken like my family and I are broken. As I began to glue it back together I was getting frustrated that the pieces weren’t going back together perfectly. Some of them didn’t fit quite right. Some pieces were missing. God used that to show me that our family will not be the same either. The overall shape and design will be the same, but there are some permanent scars and some pieces are missing. The scars help make it beautiful. They are also reminders of what God has brought us through. There are several Bible verses and song lyrics on this vase that God has used to help heal me and my family. We’re still not completely healed and I don’t think we will be until we reach heaven but we’re closer than we were!
How do we embrace imperfections?
Embracing imperfections is hard. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest and all the others make us think everybody else has it all together. That they have the perfect family, the perfect job, the perfect home, the perfect life. It makes us feel like we’re the only ones with problems. But we’re not. We all have problems of some sort. None of us wants to admit that we have imperfections, right? But think about how encouraging it is to you to find out that someone else has the same problem you have. You realize you’re not alone, someone truly understands what you’re going through. If we’re honest about our imperfections we can encourage others. We can glorify God with our imperfections by sharing our struggles with others and telling them how God is getting us through it. Jesus tells us we will all have struggles:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV
But he also tells us struggles aren’t the end! When we know Jesus as our Savior, He will give us peace. Yes, we’ll have struggles or imperfections in this life but He’ll help us learn, grow, and overcome them. He also wants us to use what we learn from our struggles and imperfections to help others:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV
We should help, encourage, and comfort each other, not pretend like we have it all together.
What now?
My struggles aren’t over. My husband is still in prison and will be for five and half more years. But God has given him a ministry there. He leads Bible studies and spends all his time reading and studying everything he can about God, growing in faith and knowledge. He’s been broken, but through God, he’s being restored. While he’s gone, I’m a single mom. I have to take care of the kids, the house, the cars, the repairs, the bills, everything. It’s not easy but God is giving me strength. He’s teaching me to lean on Him, to let Him carry me, to consult Him in everything instead of trying to do things myself, and to accept help from others. I’ve always been bad to try to do things myself and even tell God how to do things or tell Him what I or my family need. But through this I’m learning to listen and wait. I’m a slow learner but I’m getting there!
Our imperfections and brokenness increase our dependency on God. Depending on God helps to make us more whole because we can only ever be perfect in Him.
I would love to hear your questions and comments so please leave them below. Please share this post with your friends! Until next time…I’m praying for you, please pray for me!
I started crying while reading this – I think it was the part about the vase. It was just so beautiful. Even though our circumstances aren’t identical, I felt this was so relatable. Thank you for sharing this. I actually didn’t comment initially because I couldn’t figure out the right words, but I did want you to know how this reached me and thank you for it. I will be praying for you and your family.
Julie, thank you so much for your kind words! I hope this helped encourage you in your journey. I’m praying for you and your family too.